mrsr1n1

Struggles

July 16, 2012
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Lately I find myself struggling more than I care for. At work, at home, working out – seems like things just can’t happen the way I want them to right now. Example – we finally have a few dollars to get new tires for my car, so my husband takes it in and they tell him I have no brakes! UGH! I have paperwork from another place (where I bought my car, where I worked for 3 years!) that tells me that they are good, but he sees the brakes and there goes the few dollars we thought we were going to save. At work, my colleague, and someone who I consider a friend, found a fabulous new job. So now I am struggling with my insecurities. Am I really as bad as they told me? I was speaking to my old boss who disagreed with my new boss’s assessment of my work, but still that doubt is eating at me. My workouts are another area of struggle. I am committed to them, but they just aren’t resulting the way I want them to. Some days at home have become so – UGH! Just frustrated and I want so bad to be happy – but can’t.


Posted in Family

My summer of friends, exercise and reading

July 10, 2012
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Okay – so by now I have just completely lost track of how many weeks I have been sick. I still feel it in my chest. UGH! I hate being sick! But life goes on? Right?

Weekend was nice – but just flew by – like always. Saturday we finally sold our van – it had been sitting in the driveway for months without being used. It was a sad moment for James and I – we had so many vacation memories in that car. Then afterwards, I had lunch with some friends at Longhorns. It was nice to catch up with my friends. I love soup, so I had the shrimp and lobster chowder with a salad. Sunday Ava had a pool party to go to later in the afternoon, so I spent the morning ironing clothes that had been piling up for two weeks. As it started getting closer to party time – it started raining. This would be the second time the rain canceled the party. Fortunately the rain stopped and the party continued. The waterpark was nice and empty – just another party and perhaps two other families. Ava finally decided to try the diving board – well, as I knew she would, she loved it and kept doing it over and over again.

So, I ran Monday, at lunch, on the treadmill. The office has a small gym and with used equipment – I know that the treadmill is not calibrated properly – but I wonder how off my Nike+ is as well – the higher I set the speed – my pace increases, as in now I am going slower– how is that possible? Too funny! I am not looking to set any records, am happy just getting a workout and burning calories.

Am still reading The Highlander series. So far I like all of them except Into the Dreaming….maybe it was just too short. But today Fever Moon comes out and I want to go to Barnes and Noble to check it out. Also started reading Girl Gone – seems interesting….will continue to read while I wait for the next Highlander book to become available from the library.


July already – really?

July 6, 2012
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So while I have gotten better, I am still coughing and feeling congested.  I ran on Monday on the treadmill – didn’t feel too bad.  I haven’t run outside because I feel that between the heat and my chest being so congested – it might be a recipe for disaster.  Even my husband asked me last night why I am not running in the evenings…..just too hot!

Fourth was nice and quiet for us.  James worked, so Ava and I went to Regal Cinemas Summer Movies and finally saw Hugo  – LOVED IT!!!  Afterwards we went to Menchies and enjoyed our froyo outside – it was a little overcast – so it was nice just to sit and enjoy the day off.  We picked up Desi and ran some errands – went home and made pasta salad and when I looked at the clock – it was four!  The day flew by.  I ended my day by sitting outside and reading more of Karen Marie Moning – The Highlander’s Touch – I never thought of myself as the romance novel reader –but throw in some fantasy stuff and apparently I am!  Nighttime finally came and Desi setoff some fireworks, as did our neighbor across the street.  The kids loved it – me, I was just glad that I could walk into my house and go to bed.  Glad I didn’t go to one of the city sponsored fireworks – traffic is just a nightmare getting out of those things.

Work is being handled one day at a time.  We recently had an independent interviewer come in and talk to us because office morale is so low – but then the company goes and does things that just leaves all of us scratching our heads.  Every day I dream of going back home to New York.  Maybe – one day (sigh).


Bad days, and more bad days

July 2, 2012
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It has been a while since I last wrote. I have been sick almost the entire time. Had to go back to the doctor and do another round of antibiotics. She did mention that I would have my cough for a little bit longer. So in the meantime I have been reading. I finished the Blood Fever Series, which was awesome! Thinking about buying the set – either for my Kindle or a hard copy. Speaking of Kindle – I love mine. I have it in my purse all the time, so whenever I have a few minutes, I can take it out and read it. I sat by the pool yesterday, while Ava swam, and loved the no glare. Started reading the Highlander series, also by Karen Marie Moning, its good, but not like Blood Fever, maybe it will get better. Also read Abraham Lincoln Vampire Killer – it was okay, don’t know how it became a movie – definitely not something I would have read and said – can’t wait to see it on the big screen.

At work, more bad news. Was passed over for the promotion. Was told that my work and work ethics were not good – I have never heard any other employer in my 20+ years say anything remotely close to what I was told. Just another day in the F state as my friends in NY say.  I don’t even want to get into who actually got the position.

After three weeks of not running due to being sick, I started running again – on the treadmill at lunchtime – it’s too freakin’ hot to run outside. I did miss it.

But now I have to think about what to do – part of me wants so badly to return to NY. I want to earn a descent salary, be respected at work, work in a professional environment, heck I even miss the commute to NY! But then again, we have our house here. Ava has grown up here – this is all she knows. When I think about Stephen and Desiree’s future here – I get sick to my stomach – there is nothing here for them. At least in NY they have a chance for a future. I am not the crying type – but right now, that is exactly what I want to do.


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